TRAVAILS OF AN EX-SECRETARY (CONTINUED)

27 Feb 2013 - 04:02:39 pm
As I dey there dey reason how e go be like if I commit anytin na im Madam call my name, I ansa, She call am again, I tell her say I dey there. Na so she look me come tell me say, anything wey I get for mind, make I comot am as e be say e no go work. See as I come say for my mind, see me see wahala o… Dis woman dey form sorceress for me abi wetin? She come say, make I avoid that Calabar chick o. Say make e be say na only work join us…. Shu, I come speechless come open eyes piaam dey look madam. Na wetin na, must she just turn me professional immediately, abi person no get right again to talk to im fellow worker. 

Na so she snap her finger tell me say make I dismissed. Nothing more? I just carry the surprise wey I carry come there carry go back. I begin reason wetin Madam talk. How she take carry know self say for my first dey for work I don already start to dey make friend. Na so I carry myself soberly go siddon for my chair come dey tink. As I dey carry eye dey scan up dey reason wetin I go do next, n aim my eye come see one small security camera. Kai!!! Na so e be like for here, abi dem dey watch person every move?. Well, the thing come make me reason am o, with all this fine fine chickalas for here, u mean say nufin I go fit do? I quickly comot the thought from my mind as I reason wetin I nearly enter because of my early mor mor adventure. My adventurous spirit take over come say sho, guy, na so u go carry dull yourself? Better find way out now before you go become too comfortable.

As I reason am like dat, na im I hala say I wan urinate…. No be say I shout o, I use style call the potter, come ask as say wey rest room dey. The guy come give me direction, na so I carry my leg run piam dey go rest room. As I dey waka, my eyes dey up dey scan, see cameras everywhere… Na wetin man go do. I waka jeje enter inside the toilet, carry my d.i.c.kson out come squeeze small piss all the while dey plan how my stay for this job go profit me small.

Unknown to me Roselyn has other plans in mind, cos as soon as I stepped out of the rest room (Male and Female restroom is attached), lo and behold, there right in front of me was Roselyn smiling sheepishly. I wasn’t jilted cos I thought she just came by too. All of a sudden without talking, her hand went straight below my belt. Being a guy who was always protective of my stuff I stopped her hand before it reached anywhere. Instead of apologizing, she playfully freed her hand, turned round and walked away. GEE!!! The message was as clear as crystal, am gonna get laid, and I liked the idea of hitting a lady from Calabar, always fantasized it. You guyz know what am talking about, apart from cooking, there is a myth that goes round that Calabar girls are tigresses when it comes to love making.

At last my fantasy was going to come to pass. What I have always craved for was knocking right at my door…. I couldn’t wait to get home that day as everything from that moment seemed to be working out just fine. At last, time came for me to go home and being this kinda economizing person, I decided to board a subsidy bus that will drop me at my destination. I gathered my things together, matched out and took a stroll to the road side. Looking around me, I came to appreciate the beauty of nature. See fine chicks everywhere, nice b.utt and bosoms to behold…. As I was contemplating what to do, the bus came and being a gentle guy, I followed the queue. When it came to my turn, I paid and stepped in through that counter of theirs that you have to push with extra-ordinary energy. As I scanned for a place to sit down, my eyes fell on an empty seat right beside a beautiful lady. I walked up there and sat down. Relaxed a bit and closed my eyes to catch some sleep… Damn it! My day has been stressful. I tried as much as I could but could not even get a wink of sleep; my mind was busy going over the escapades I have read about in magazines. I shook myself and told myself, “bro, that could be fiction… Just some writer’s imagination to get cash out of us”… Funny, I refused to believe myself…. I turned to the angel, who was around twenty/twenty-one… I looked at her and what I saw took my breath away. She was dressed in a spaghetti top and being a little not gifted in bosoms wasn’t putting on a bra, her unmentionables shooting out, bosoms inviting and from the soft material she was putting on, I knew it is going to be soft. Her pant was tight and fitting right from her waist down to her slim legs. Bending my head down a bit, I discovered that what she lacked above was supplemented greatly below. I took in a deep breath, smiled pensively to myself and said “Hi, am Joey”… Was I expecting a reply? I sure did get one, a disgusted look from her. 

That look shake me small, na im I tell myself say, “guy, no allow this kind thing deter you, after all, man no die, man no rotty”. I cleared my voice a little and made it soft (each time I switch to dat mode, even my mom trips for me cos I could exhort her of all the money in the world and she wouldn’t mind) “Am sorry for disturbing you, but the truth is, am kind of a stranger here”. She looked at me again and in the sweetest of voices said “how is that supposed to be my business”… “Well, I was thinking if you are going to tell me the names of different places when we get there” I answered. She sighed and said, by the way, how come you’re claiming to be a stranger. I told her, I just came in the previous week and being a gentle man, have been sitting at home until the job am doing came by. She fell silent…. I was like, “have you been staying here all your life”…. She said yap but she traveled down north and stayed for five years…. I don dey get comfortable small small…

I come dey reason how e go feel like to land this kind okpeke for bed, men!!! E go pour brain die neh. I even like the way wey the conversation dey head. As she say na down north she been stay, na im I say make I ask her another question if she no mind. She come talk say no problem… I come ask her which part of the down north she comot from (all the while dey pray for my mind make e be kano o….), well, before she tell me, she come carry me go down memory lane come dey tell me how she carry escape death for post election violence. I pity her small, but for my mind I just dey reason say dis girl no see anything. Me wey turn Jet Li dey dodge bullet when Boko Haram attack Kano….? Na im I tell her say, well gone are the days of cutlass and sticks… Right now, na the period of gun and bombs…. She come laugh small, turn look me come ask me how come I carry know all this things….. I just shrug tell her say I read am. The girl come tell me say she get scar for hand, na im I say make I see. As the girl carry her hand flash out, I come look am dey tell her sorry sweetly, come dey use style dey rub am for her. Dat time na im I tell her say me na ex-settler for Kano, say I don even learn the art of dodging bullet.

As I dey talk, I dey carry my voice dey go down, all of a sudden, I come pop-up the question, ask her whether she get boyfriend. Shu, d girl just look me for my eyes come ask why I wan know… I no hide am o, I hide under the umbrella of northern unity come tell her say, as e be say I no get babe na (BIG LIE!!!), and I no know how the babes for here dey like, whether me and her fit become friends. She just wan argue, na so my hand find imself for her legz, kai! See as e soft like mad. All my mind, I tink say she go remove am but she just leave am. Make the hand move, e no gree, I hold on den come squeeze am a little…. Na im I look her come tell her say, make I tell her small yarn….. Omo see poetic switching na

Beauty is divine and a religion
Given to women for men
Smooth and slippery at the same time
For a joy ride it is at first
But like a dagger in your heart
It will forever be when it is broken

The talk sweet her o, na at the same time, I move my hands go up jump her honey pot come touch her for belle. I take style pass comment about the belle, she no even answer…. She just keep quite. At that time day done dey dark…. As e dey be for Subsidy Bus, na so the driver switch on im light o, I come dey feel say the driver wan spoil my show. But like play play, d light no even reach where we dey…. Come see hold up for road na. As my hand dey the belle, my other hand don round the wait go under go grab her for her soft yansh. Dat place soft ooo…. Na so my hand come dey climb up slowly, my heart dey beat with expectancy, as I proceed reach up, I stop the hand for right under the bosoms. I no proceed again. I just pause come carry my eyes look round whether another person dey look d magic wey I dey perform. Na so the girl hold my hand, come whisper say, why I stop. Her voice just dey hoarse, I no even recognize am…….
To be continued
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Categories: gossip

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