A WOMAN'S STRENGTH 2

02 Mar 2013 - 01:11:52 pm
I hear voices. Am not crazy or anything it’s just that I get messages from on high from time to time. My wife finds it amusing while my mother-in-law finds it annoying. She’s spending a couple of weeks with us and I am sure her husband is hoping she extends her stay. She came at a really bad time because I am between jobs right now (nice way of saying I am not working) and my wife is supporting us. Because of that she never misses a chance to take a swipe at me. I mean just the other day when I was eating my wife’s delicious spaghetti and meatballs she just sat there staring at me, after about five minutes she walks into the guestroom and puts this huge mirror directly opposite me (to be honest one look at myself with spaghetti sticking out of my mouth and my bulging eyeballs made me lose my appetite) as she walks away she says “am sure if you take job hunting just as seriously you’ll land a job”

It’s Monday morning and I am preparing for an interview, I stand in front of the mirror psyching myself up, asking myself questions and smiling at my reflection. The horror that likes to “soro” stands at the passage (how could I leave my room door open?) ten minutes later I hear her saying “se mo so fun e pe oko re tun ya were ori kpe o tun tin ba re so oro” I don’t know what it means but it sounds pretty bad so I shout my goodbyes and escape through the back door

Its 3p.m, the interview was great and I’ve been offered a job. I take my wife out to celebrate. On the way to the restaurant I am hit from behind by some guy. I jump out screaming “you slowpoke”; he is full of apologies as he checks out my car. In my anger I give him a dirty slap and the last thing I hear is the sound of thunder before everything goes dark.

Its 5p.m, I open my eye(I can only open one) and see my lovely wife with the guy I slapped, it seems I am in the hospital (my wife explains the guy knocked me out with a punch; so here I am). I smile sheepishly and she says I married you and not Rambo. The man is full of apologies and takes care of the bill. I apologize too, and we shake on it.

Its 7.30p.m I walk into the living room and my mother-in-law says “my God you look like a gorilla with dysentery, what happened?” my wife explains while I go upstairs to lie down. I lie in bed watching shakira dancing on TV and I think to myself its stuff like this that cost John the Baptist his head.

Its 9.30p.m I wake up with a serious headache, as I walk downstairs to take some pills I overhear my mother-in-law praying “Dear Lord, she says, thank you for answering my prayers and giving my son-in-law a job today and thank you for letting him get away with only minor injuries, I know sometimes I am a bit harsh but I really love him, he’s a good husband and a great father. Surprisingly my headache seems to have gone. As I pass my wife in the corridor she sees me smiling to myself and asks “honey are you hearing voices again?” Yes I say. What are they saying this time? Good things I reply, good things.
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Categories: gossip

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